108867

Joke of the Day

"Me: Can I bring my wife? Travel Agent: Of course Me: But I'm hetero. Does that matter? Travel Agent: Do you think I'm saying Gayman Islands?"

"What do you call a blonde Jew? Goldie Lox (my little sis just came up with this...or so she said)"

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new haircut? Neither has he."

"A crazy looking girl threatened to punch me because I kept playing Taylor Swift on the Jukebox. I knew she was Trouble when she walked in."

"Pro Tip: don't fall asleep during the middle of an argument with your spouse over whether or not you pay attention to her."

"Did you hear about all the Hamburgers that showed up at the Hot Dogs' prom? They were in abundance."

"It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Wouldn't that make frowning an exercise? You lazy bastards."

"The liquid inside a fire hydrant is H^2O, but the liquid on the outside is K9P. Courtesy of schnauzers-rule.com"

"My doctor diagnosed me as a delusional. Edit: Thanks for my first ever Reddit gold, stranger!"

"what if soy milk is just regular milk.... introducing itself in spanish"