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Joke of the Day

"The liquid inside a fire hydrant is H^2O, but the liquid on the outside is K9P. Courtesy of schnauzers-rule.com"

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"remember when everyone was worried we'd reached ""peak TV"" with too much to watch then it turned out we're a tragic nation of unending racism"
"Girls who marry for money & guys who marry for beauty are equally robbed in the end."
"You better watch out, you better not cry You better not pout, I'm telling you why Emotion signals weakness to your enemy Be vigilant, my son"
"[train] GUY: Please take my seat. ME: *adjusts pillow in my top to feign pregnancy* Thank you. GUY: How far along are you? ME: 5 stops."
"Do you know the most popular place in town? The cemetery; people are just dying to get in"
"What did the french bloomers say to the sexy thong? Well I've 'ad me ups n downs, but I've never been pushed to one side..."
"what did the farmer say win he lost his tractor ""wheres my tractor"""
"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr.Dre."
"Things that smell better than they taste: coffee, popcorn, vanilla-scented ass."
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