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Joke of the Day

"My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped."

"A man noticed that his thermometer had come down with a nasty cold. Medicine in hand, he asked the thermometer, ""How are you feeling?"" The thermometer responded, ""0K."""

"Maybe mama duck isn't leading her babies, maybe she's trying to outrun them."

"Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead the dough."

"[about to message girl he likes] Me: I should just talk to her like I would anyone else. Be myself. And not act stupid. Brain: OR"

"Dad: Don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time. Son: I do Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!"

"I was going to make a joke about thailand... But Phuket."

"As far as I know original golf joke So what does a bogey have in common with a dead golfer? One too many strokes."

"Hey, look over there, is that a bobble head doll of Donald Trump? No, that's Donald Trump"

"There are some days when I just really do not want to wake up early and go to work. I call these days Monday Friday."