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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time. Son: I do Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!"

"Does anyone ever get to their deathbed and think ""I may have some regrets, but I'm really glad I joined Mafia Wars""?"

"Two fish were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, do you know how to drive this? Now, two sharks were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, I don't think that's enough equity."

"Why are condoms transparent?"

"I wrote a poem about communism for my English class I had to share it with everyone"

"How many guys in the friend zone does it take to change in a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"

"I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet & sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters."

"There's a new male porn star from India. His stage name is Deep Indar!"

"Sorry I hung up on you, I didn't mean to answer the call."