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Joke of the Day

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman: ""Where's the self-help section?"" She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"I'm at my most immature when girls misspell ""cologne"" and start talking about how bad a man's colon smells"

"What did the redditor say to the other redditor? Yes."

"TERMINOTOR: come with me if u want to live ME: ok cool *just sits there* TERMINOTOR: COME WITH ME IF-- ME: ya i got it. im good right here"

"Did you know that 95% of Jews aren't Jews? They're dead"

"What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim denim denim...."

"APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: ""We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?"" ME: ""I write and want to dir--"" ""GUNSHOT*"

"Kids are so inquisitive. ""Will robots ever take over the world?"" Me: ""Almost certainly."" ""But when? Before I die?"" ""A bit before, yes."""

"I'm NOT Superman. What appears to be a red and yellow S on my chest is just the result of a rather fortuitous mustard and ketchup stain."

"You have a dime in one hand and a nickel in the other. What are you? Broke."