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Joke of the Day

"I'm NOT Superman. What appears to be a red and yellow S on my chest is just the result of a rather fortuitous mustard and ketchup stain."

"What do a virgin and a used Prius owner have in common? Neither of them have had sex"

"I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes"

"Did you hear about that mexican murdering train driver? He had locomotives."

"My Girlfriend told me to give her 10 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth!"

"One of those trendy avant chefs offered to cook me whale today. I said, please don't... That would make me blubber!"

"No one ever talks about Peter Pans brother. Peter Pots"

"I pet my dog and he didn't wag his tail. Is he seeing someone else? Is the magic gone? Do we need to spice things up? I'll dress like a cat."

"Yo mama is so fat, white and horny That when she bent over in Africa, wildlife conservation tried to breed her with a rhino."

"What did the bird say to the other bird Bro, do you even drosophila melanogaster ?"