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Joke of the Day

"Kids are so inquisitive. ""Will robots ever take over the world?"" Me: ""Almost certainly."" ""But when? Before I die?"" ""A bit before, yes."""

"How does a blond like her eggs in the morning? ""fertilized"""

"What's the most annoying thing someone can say? Nevermind."

"Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey."

"Reasons I think I might be a puppet vampire: 1. Ah ha ha! 2. Ah ha ha! 3. Ah ha ha!"

"How do you spell onomatopoeia? Just spell it like the way it sounds!"

"I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick... She's still not talking to me :("

"The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating."

"I before E except after C. Yes another myth disproven by science."

"Two jews walk into a bar and buy it."