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Joke of the Day

"I know how to pronounce worcestershire until I see it written."

"Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs."

"Whoever's job it is to make sure I eat before I drink is fired."

"What is another name for a knife? A chopstick!"

"How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes two doctors and a nurse to get it out."

"she wants the D (director's cut)"

"Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs? Because only the top 1% can stay above water."

"him: what did you do all day? *steps aside to reveal 12 cats taped together* Me: it's a purrrramid!"

"What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle? Wok it off! Wok it off!"

"Did you hear about the incest convention? Every mother-fucker was there!"