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Joke of the Day

"""You know why I pulled you over?"" ""Does anyone know why anyone's pulled over?"" ""Wow. You're free to go."" ""Is anyone free?"" ""Oh you're good."""

"I saw on the news Boy George's bearded dragon has attacked and bitten his housekeeper 6 times in the last month I reckon he needs a calmer chameleon."

"What's the easiest way to piss off a bunch of redditors? [DELETED]"

"Why should trees never sign birthday cards? Because they're always so *Sappy*!"

"What is your greatest America joke? Everyone's got mexican, Jewish, and Islamic jokes. I wanna hear the one's bashing America."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls. Ha"

"Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...!"

"I told my mom I wanted to become a stand up comedian. She laughed."

"Dinner guests coming over later and I got nothing. Does anyone know how to turn beef jerky back into steaks?"

"I am not fake. I am not a parody. I am the Lord thy God, King of the Universe, you cosmic dipshits."