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Joke of the Day
"What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle? Wok it off! Wok it off!"
Next Joke
"I fell over a toilet roll display at my local supermarket I cut my leg badly and was rushed to hospital. I said to the doctor, ""what's the damage"" He replied, ""just some torn tissue""."
"I caught my son jerking off a wolf, so to teach him a lesson I made him stroke the whole pack."
"Did you hear about the Hunger Games character who got eaten alive in the Middle East? Poor Peeta..."
"I have feelings for you. Please take them and leave."
"How do you know you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you ""Let's just be friends."""
"Sometimes it seems like I'm married to my own liver I only abuse it when I'm drinking"
"Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close."
"Just had a very thorough pat-down by a TSA agent. Now he wants to talk about my feelings, but I'm soooo sleepy."
"I'm great in bed; I can sleep for days."