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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] I was seeing a girl once, five actually... Then the sorority started looking into the strange sounds in the attic."

"CPR is a lot like church... CPR is a lot like church: you go up, down, up, down, up, down. The only difference is that you don't get snacks in CPR."

"What type of milk is swiss cheese made of? Whole milk."

"Anybody hear about those two car antennas that got married? Supposedly the wedding was alright but the reception was great ;)"

"I want to work for YouTube. It sounds so easy! All you have to do is remove a few lines of code everyday!"

"I love Comcast. Jokes over."

"I am racist. fuck NASCAR."

"After the American Revolution, Thomas Paine celebrates by purchasing a new pair of shoes. He declares that these are the times to try men's soles."

"They say that a person's surname is named after whatever their ancestors did to make a living I feel sorry for the guy who's dad was the first person to be called ""Dickinson"""

"A man goes to the doctor and says; Patient: wow, this has to be the smallest doctor's office in the world. Doctor: Get the f*** out of here! I'm taking a shit!"