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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the doctor and says; Patient: wow, this has to be the smallest doctor's office in the world. Doctor: Get the f*** out of here! I'm taking a shit!"

"Boy, is my face red! Fingering a suspect means something totally different at the police station, you guys."

"Why do people go to the gym again? Do they not know what a nap is?"

"How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus."

"I've bought up all the Scrabble games I can get my hands on. I heard there's a lot of money in text tiles."

"I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me."

"What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves? Russell"

"I had to take my son's dirty diaper off today. I don't know why I was wearing it in the first place."

"How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair? You flip it upside down."

"Him: Your body is like poetry Me: That's so nice! H: A haiku M:.. H: Little on the top, big in the middle, little on the bottom M: Just stop"