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Joke of the Day

"I am racist. fuck NASCAR."

"Zeroing a scale is a tare-able decision . . . I'm sorry"

"Why did the SSD burn a flag? Because it was a Patriot Blaze"

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... except when you're at a funeral."

"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk' to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill."

"I use to be addicted to soap I'm clean now"

"How is the Quran like weed? Burning that shit will get you stoned."

"Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date. "

"Where does a powerful king keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you to get off your ass and do things."