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Joke of the Day

"Reasons to date me: 1) 2) 3) please?"

"I had to put my dog down today. I'd been carrying her for a while."

"Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated"

"Whoever decided to use pantyhose as a bank robbing disguise must have had one hell of a speech to convince his buds to follow along."

"My ""Savings Account"" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets."

"[RACIST] The Parrot A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. ""Wow,"" says the bartender. ""That is really something. Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa,"" says the parrot."

"I'm throwing a party for people who can't ejaculate... Tell me if you can come."

"A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, ""I'm sorry, but we don't serve spirits here"""

"Viagra won't make you James Bond.. ..but it will make you Roger Moore."

"I wasn't allowed to bring my board game onto the airplane They told me the risk was too big."