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Joke of the Day

"Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid. The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!"

"Got thrown out of the theater during the Superman movie but was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses."

"[OC] Did you hear the political interview in regards to homosexuality? It was hard to get a straight answer."

"What's better Jesus or a picture of Jesus A picture because it only takes one nail to hang a picture."

"evrytime i go to the zoo, i break down in front of the bird exhibits & shout HOW DID THEY CATCH YOU. U CAN FLY. HOW DID U LET THEM CATCH YOU"

"Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri ""What do women want?"" She's been talking nonstop for the last two days now."

"So a ""refugee"" walks into a bar... ...So a firefighter walks into the remains of a bar..."

"*Fakes Phone Call* ""Yes a thousand doves please....well give me pigeons and i can paint them white"" (cups hand over phone) ""I plan weddings"""

"On the bright side, I'm relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists."

"Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]"