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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]"

"My nickname is Spaghetti Because I'm 20 inches and hot water makes me floppy."

"What is Dwight Schrute's hometown? Nanda Parbeets."

"How many militant feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick."

"I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how I'm doing"

"What's another name for a chicken testicle? Fowl Ball"

"Did anyone else go into Monsters, Inc. thinking it was going to be a movie about a really big sink?"

"Why is Viagra like Disneyworld? - You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride"

"What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!"

"Two birds are sat on a perch. One turns to the other and says ""Can you smell fish?"""