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Joke of the Day

"What's better Jesus or a picture of Jesus A picture because it only takes one nail to hang a picture."

"A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. ""Which side is it best to lie on?"" she asked. ""The side that pays your fee"" replied the doctor."

"This is a robbery In some firm, two masked thieves enter: -This is a robbery The accountant, relieved: -Thank GOD, I thought it was the IRS."

"Sometimes I'll casually say ""what else do you want?"" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me."

"D'you want to hear a spoiler for the Jumanji remake? Robin Williams dies"

"A psychiatrist is just a friend you pay to listen to your problems because your other friends are tired of hearing about them."

"Why does /r/fencing suck so bad? Half of it is ripostes"

"What's the thing u don't tell a vampire? Bite me."

"What do they eat instead of ""pigs in a blanket"" in McKinney, TX? Pork in a roll. (At least I'm trying)"

"Why didn't anyone like the bread store owner? He was pretty loafsome"