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Joke of the Day

"evrytime i go to the zoo, i break down in front of the bird exhibits & shout HOW DID THEY CATCH YOU. U CAN FLY. HOW DID U LET THEM CATCH YOU"

"A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?"

"The Hispanic fruit cup locks eyes with the beautiful lady across the bar... He makes his move, walks over and says ""why, Jello there"""

"Why is six such a nervous number? **sinko says** it's because of some cannibalism story going around."

"I'm not saying it's been a while, but, the last time a girl got down on her knees for me, she showed me how to tie my shoelaces."

"Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers"

"Wanna hang together? ill bring the rope"

"Me: *returns from bakery with a bap, bagel, bun & cob* Wife: What are these? Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON."

"An unemployed guy gets a call from the lady at the Employment agency Lady : I have two openings for you. Guy : I know. The lady hangs up."

"""You spend far too much time on that fucking computer."" Possibly a bit harsh, but as one of Stephen Hawking's closest friends, I felt someone had to tell him."