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Joke of the Day

"9 out of 10 therapist agree to just be yourself The other one realizes that's what got you into this shit in the first place."

"What do you call a troupe of performing Redditors? Cirque le Jerk"

"Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub."

"Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?"

"LISA GOPMAN: EATING DISORDER For as long as I can remember, I've had an eating disorder: reverse anorexia. It's when I look in the mirror and think I'm really skinny."

"what did the zero say to the eight? nice belt"

"What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common? They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)"

"I was casually playing while my teammate wrote ""I fucked your mom last night"" I replied ""no you didn't"" Then my dad ran into my room and told me that he indeed did."

"Why do scuba-divers go in backwards? Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat."

"My cousin Denise's baby Alpo was born with no feet and a full adult penis because she drank Four Loko when she was pregnant :("