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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas? He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!"

"I couldn't imagine my parents having sex So last night I hid in their closet and watched"

"A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture."

"What do you call a Black Abortion Clinic? Crime Stoppers. I'm going to hell"

"I get that preschoolers go to bed early but it's still weird that Nick Jr becomes a hardcore porn channel every night at 8."

"Walking down the street today someone handed me a free air guitar... No strings attached..."

"When my wife is sleeping I open her handbag, take out my balls, pat them & whisper ""I know guys I miss you too"" then put them back quietly."

"What do you call a plane with a muslim on it? Death row"

"I can't believe how much of this stuff at the self checkout is free."

"So I heard Donald Trump is running for president again. You guys know that if he wins, we'll all be f****d, right? That's right. Fired. ;)"