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Joke of the Day

"And the Oscar goes to... Prison."

"Why couldn't the gay guy cross the road? He had to go straight."

"*at funeral* Thank you all for coming. As you already know, my dignity has left us. I tripped in front of all my coworkers. It was tragic."

"What do you get when you cross a JOKE with a RHETORICAL QUESTION?"

"Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?"

"What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you? You will get burned, you idiot."

"Why would you chase a waterfall? They don't move to different spots you know. It's pretty much just right there."

"When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though* Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*"

"Hey, maybe one time we could make a sitcom where the husband is out of the wife's league and the wife says stupid shit all the time."

"What to do with a child soldier lower your aim. someone i met who is in the army told me this is what his sergeant told them, he didnt intend it as a joke."