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Joke of the Day

"What to do with a child soldier lower your aim. someone i met who is in the army told me this is what his sergeant told them, he didnt intend it as a joke."

Next Joke
 
"*secret agent slaps me* I'll never give you answers *he grabs my throat* ""WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA"" *spits* I'd rather die"
"Live today like it's your last day. But pay bills and dress appropriately just in case it isn't."
"You are the pebble in my shoe of people."
"What do you call shit that comes out with a fart? An Unexpecturd."
"I tried to do a photo shoot in the rain yesterday. Turned out to be a mist take."
"The first and last person to LIKE this status are the sexiest people in the whole wide world!"
"I like my women like I like my reality shows.... Naked and afraid."
"How do you kill a hipster? Drown him in the mainstream."
"If there is a Wessex, Sussex, and Essex why isn't there a northern county similarly named? Cause then there would be Nosex!"