10148

Joke of the Day

"I just cut my hand on a box of band aids if you were wondering how I'm doing at life"

"DUMPED BY HIS GIRLFRIEND Q: Why was the 6'6"" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9"" girlfriend dumped him? A: He was nuts over her."

"In response to being asked if I had a good weekend: Days off are like blowjobs -- even the bad ones are good."

"Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day. Note to self, stop saying that pickup lines to the girls in wheelchairs."

"I remember when my grad father first got his pace maker Every time he would go to use the microwave he would piss his pants and forget who he was for about an half an hour or so."

"Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page. How the tables have turned Kate."

"I think parents are incredibly selfish and rude for having additional children without first consulting their existing child. "

"What do you call it when Al Capone goes camping? Criminal intent."

"What do you call a cock-muncher's favorite meal..? Not me.. Stop calling me that."

"Becoming a vegan ...was a big missed steak"