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Joke of the Day

"In response to being asked if I had a good weekend: Days off are like blowjobs -- even the bad ones are good."

"What is the etymology of the word ""politics""? *Poli*, from the Greek *polloi*, meaning ""Many"". And *Ticks*, from English, meaning ""little bloodsucking creatures."""

"What kind of shampoo do people with Down Syndrome use? Tresemme 21"

"Wifey is pregnant again. She wants a girl but I want a black guy so I have someone to play basketball with."

"Never kick a porcupine wearing flip flops. Cause they're obviously on vacation and why ruin their holiday?"

"How do you sum up a cashew? In a nutshell!"

"What do you call a politically powerful shrub in Jamaica? A hegemon."

"Eddie's father called up to him 'Eddie if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go crazy!' Eddy replied 'I think you are already I stopped playing half an hour ago.'"

"Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap He was high on my list of priorities"

"I've been texting random numbers ""hey are we taking salvia before or after church?"""