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Joke of the Day

"DUMPED BY HIS GIRLFRIEND Q: Why was the 6'6"" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9"" girlfriend dumped him? A: He was nuts over her."

"There there password. I don't think you're weak."

"So a guy with a ""Baby on Board"" sticker on his back glass, backed out of a parking spot and directly into my car.. Apparently that dick had a problem with pulling out."

"What does the twitter bird do when it needs money? It goes to Twerk!"

"I'm thinking about murdering Lorde When the cops ask what I was doing that night, I'll just say I was out shooting Heroine."

"Making $ is easy. Press shift+4."

"How do you tell a bad joke from a good joke? You skip the punchline."

"What do you call a bunch of potheads working together? A joint effort!"

"What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate."

"What do you get if you cross a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."