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Joke of the Day
"What's a baker's favorite part of Manhattan? The Lower Yeast Side."
Next Joke
"What language does a patio speak? Porch-uguese"
"What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song? Do You Hear what I Hear?"
"me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that"
"I'm going to hire a Priest, a Doctor and a Rabbi to walk into a bar together just to see WTF happens. Backup Plan: I'll also bring a horse."
"Show me a person who doesn't walk on the escalator and I'll show you a person who will transition poorly into the zombie apocalypse."
"An old Jewish man asked me for directions. I didn't really care where he was going, so I told him it was straight on until the third reich."
"I wish Fox News was just news about foxes."
"Learning about frequency is so boring ... It literally Hertz."
"What does 9/11 and owning CP have in common? The government will watch you for the next 15+ years"