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Joke of the Day

"Learning about frequency is so boring ... It literally Hertz."

"A child molester, a conman and a priest walks into a bar He then sat down."

"I'm the kind of person that likes to be honest on April Fools April fools!"

"I just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world I told them to fuck off. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving."

"Omg, autocorrect! For the millionth time, I don't hate all those birches..."

"Why do french doctors always book followup appointments? Because they have a knack for retreat-ing"

"What did the knife say to the pretty lady? Nothing, she knew what was coming..."

"What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO UNPLUG THE TOASTER [flash to dog in sunglasses waiting for his fifth batch of waffles to pop up]"

"I could never become a vetanarian. That job takes balls!"