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Joke of the Day

"me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that"

"In the city of Chicago There are 3 streets that rhyme with vagina. Paulina, Malvina and Lunt."

"Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-ee-ville or Lou-vul? Neither, it's pronounced Frankfort."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Hell-if-I-know"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps CAN finish a race!"

"""Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops"". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!"

"My cat is recovering from... a massive stroke."

"If you love something set it free. If it comes back, celebrate with some delicious tacos. If it doesn't that's twice the tacos for you."

"At 31 years old, I decided to grow up, kick a bad habit and stopped biting my nails. The nosebleeds are getting annoying, though."

"A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it."