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Joke of the Day

"me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that"

"What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black? Rap Music"

"Why is North Korea so evil? Because it's got no Seoul!"

"A man's Wife says that she wants something that goes from 0-180 in under 10 seconds.. The man leaves for a moment and then returns with the scale from their bathroom."

"The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation."

"When I was a kid 'friends with benefits' meant that kid had a nintendo."

"[first date] HER: It looks like you work out ME: *adjusting the tissues in my sleeves* Oh yeah, big time worker outer"

"My boss just asked me why I wasn't working.. ..i told em cuz I didn't see him coming"

"Art of falling apart I know an art dealer who thought Picasso's work was utter rubbish and wouldn't stock it in his gallery. He's laughing on the other side of his face now!"

"We're like lazy revolutionaries who act only by posting lame comments on a public forum."