100881

Joke of the Day

"I really want a sandwich, but I just don't have the time or energy to find a girlfriend right now....."

"A cure has been found for homosexuality. Lip balm you rub it on your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away."

"Lady Gaga: ""People should look nice all the time."" ""Nice"" = ""If an alien did meth and had a baby with a satellite dish."""

"Using a butter knife on steak... it just doesn't cut it."

"When my employer asked if I had a criminal record... ...I guess ""highest number of robberies in an hour"" wasn't the answer he was looking for."

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."

"What's the longest word in English? smiles. Because there's a mile between both S."

"What grazes in the Higgs Field? The Higgs Bison!"

"What's the difference between sod and a fat chick? Nothing, sooner or later they will both be laid by a Mexican"

"I've been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants; Feefiphobia."