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Joke of the Day

"Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?.....That's as crazy as the low low prices at Dave's Furniture Emporium"

"On one side of me was Dwayne Johnson, and the other, a stone fish. I guess I was just between the Rock and a hard plaice."

"What did the Ice Cream say to the Birthday Girl? Go 'head girl, it's sherbert day"

"Scientists finally discovered how an elephant trumpets. Maybe now they can get back to curing cancer..."

"I told my boyfriend to ""Stop paying games with my card"" He said shut up!, i hate Backstreet boys."

"ME: Mint choc chip ice cream, pls. I got my own cone [places it on counter] EMPLOYEE: This is a traffic cone? ME: You must be new here."

"Girl are you a dishwasher? Because I would like to fill you with my dirty load in the evening, turn you on, and fall asleep before you finish"

"My 19 yo cousin told me this one What did Euler find in the toilet? Natural log"

"What happens when you step on an oily asian? Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope."

"Redneck murders are hard to solve There are no dental records and the DNA is all the same."