179814

Joke of the Day

"ME: Mint choc chip ice cream, pls. I got my own cone [places it on counter] EMPLOYEE: This is a traffic cone? ME: You must be new here."

"Justin Bieber getting tasered would be the most watched YouTube video of all time."

"why did the lion win the race? because he mufasa."

"Teacher: What can we do to stop polluting our waters ? Pupil: Stop taking baths ?"

"I struggle against the ropes binding me, catching the scent of gas. ""You'll die too,"" I say. ""9 lives,"" my cat whispers, lighting a match."

"Thanks for the heart attack, Chinese menu under the door while I'm watching a scary movie."

"Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? His body decomposed."

"What does an obese white woman have in common with a brick? Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican."

"Is Pepsi ok? *I pull out my phone and send a text* *2 hours pass* *an out of breath Dikembe Mutumbo runs in wagging his finger* No it is not"

"Nothing says' I love my dog' quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own."