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Joke of the Day

"i woke up my girlfriend with oral sex... ....she almost choked and is now mad :("

"What happened when Hitler lost his glasses? He could Nazi."

"Two Pigs Laying In The Sun... One pig says: ""It's so hot out here."" The other pig says: ""I am..."" (_) ( _)>- (_) ""Bacon."""

"Sometimes I'll go to a grocery store and rotate all of the Tide detergents 90 degrees and yell ""THE TIDES HAVE TURNED!"" until I'm kicked out"

"Female dogs... Today a female dog tried to talk and play with my dog. He couldn't muster the courage to talk to her.. He didn't have the balls to do it."

"Did you hear the one about the German who couldn't find his fruit cake? It was Stollen."

"Need some adultish-humor. I have a girl I like, and I want to make her laugh. What are the best jokes you guys can think of to make a dirty-minded teenage girl laugh?"

"Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back."

"The Chocolate Bar by Ken I Havesum"

"Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus."