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Joke of the Day
"Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus."
Next Joke
"I bought a female horse around 10pm What a night mare"
"You're worried about rats in the walls? How is that any of your business? When was the last time you went inside your own walls?"
"Math and sex... sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope you don't multiply"
"North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))"
"Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'"
"I have some frilly pants. They are never on time. It's OK, though... They're late bloomers"
"I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Godzilla Barbie ...six foot tall lizard with Barbie head"
"A bagpipe player, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar... everybody leaves."