94887

Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I'll go to a grocery store and rotate all of the Tide detergents 90 degrees and yell ""THE TIDES HAVE TURNED!"" until I'm kicked out"

"Why shouldn't you commit a crime in front of an Indian women? She's always recording."

"What happens when you accidently add an extra p to tp? Banned from /r/news"

"why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat-belt. Stay safe tonight everyone!"

"Is it getting solipsistic in here, or is it just me?"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"Why did the guy from Brooklyn cross the road? None of your f**king business."

"Boss: ""You're an hour late!"" Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: ""Haven't you heard?"""

"""C'mon, your relationship isn't *that* serious."" - Las Vegas"

"The best part of necrophilia You don't have to bring flowers"