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Joke of the Day

"[ouija board] ""helo??"" YOUR... SPIRIT... ""shh its working"" WILL... APPEAR... ""omg"" AFTER... THIS... AD... ""dude why didnt u pay for this ouija board??!"""

"Whenever I use a racist stereotype, it's blown out of proportion. Just like all the Muslims in the world."

"I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store"

"Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?"

"*wakes up from surgery How did it go? Surgeon: Good, your nose only lit up twice"

"Porn Ears? Q: What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're masturbating? A: Your ears."

"Choose a major you love and you won't have to work for a day in your life Because that major probably has no jobs (not an original)"

"Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek are scaling down a mountain with a group of hikers. However, one of the safety clips snap. Who's in jeopardy?"

"A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"Why do weathermen name hurricanes after women? Because when they come they're wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."