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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

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"I recently received my PhD in palindromes. I now go by Dr. Awkward"
"Adele has confirmed that her new album will be called 25... Not for her current age, but for the number of snickers bars she had for breakfast"
"What do you call a door with no legs? A door."
"If you take the word ""spatula"" out of the dictionary it's just a list of things that aren't spatulas."
"Is this math joke going to be bad? Paraboly"
"Whats the worst part of eating 11 raw oysters out of your grandmothers vagina? Realizing you only put 10 in"
"Problems I've got 99 problems and they're all first world."
"I'm angry that only one company makes the game monopoly."
"Cop: Is that a turtle? Me: ... Cop: Painted blue? Me: ... Cop: With nails glued on? Me: ... Cop: Mario Kart's not real Me: YOURE NOT REAL"