175076

Joke of the Day

"Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?"

"I'm thinking about murdering Lorde When the cops ask what I was doing that night, I'll just say I was out shooting Heroine."

"9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 100 are geting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there mate"

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a Holy Shit they're done!"

"What has wings a long tail and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!"

"Apple just announced new plans for the iPhone 8... It wont be a physical device, it will be iMaginary!"

"How much free space does Europe have ? 1 GB."

"I broke up with my girlfriend, Ruth.. Now her friends call me ruthless. EDIT: Got hacked. Password and emailed changed, this post was changed to something else for a brief period by the hacker."

"So many good trailers; so few good movies."

"What happens if you drop a blue marble in the Red Sea? It sinks. (Courtesy of my 9 year old daughter)"