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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years. Come on, guys. I don't have 2020 vision."

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"There's no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs"
"Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds."
"I'll rephrase the question, your honor. Sir, under whose custody did the dogs escape from?? And let me remind you that you're under oath"
"CAFFEINE-FREE DIET COKE: BECAUSE YOU LOVE CARAMEL COLOR"
"The other day I started making a belt by joining all my old watches together... ...but then I realised it would be a waist of time."
"Whose fault is it that California always has earthquakes? San Andreas fault."
"TWITTER: something just isn't clicking here HORDE OF RACIST EGGS: [cacophony of immoral filth] TWITTER: eliminate the looping video service"
"Anyone ever seen Stevie Wonders house? Neither has he!"
"You probably solved a problem which Einstein couldn't solve because he didn't see it"
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