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Joke of the Day

"The other day I started making a belt by joining all my old watches together... ...but then I realised it would be a waist of time."

"Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space ~me reading Arabic DM"

"Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority? Because he prefers Dick's."

"What's the most dangerous possession a gun nut will ever own? His car."

"The debates flipped gender roles. Last night we saw an argument between a woman who wanted to talk facts, and a man who only wanted to talk about his feelings."

"Dance like nobody's watching. Because nobody is. Who do you think you are, Baryshnikov? Get over yourself."

"That awkward moment where you don't know if you're in a relationship or not."

"Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race."

"Girl at party tells me that ""That wasn't funny"". Her review was biased one, as she was the subject of ""That"" that ""wasn't funny""."

"I told my parents I wanted a panda for christmas. all I got was a white x6"