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Joke of the Day

"The other day I started making a belt by joining all my old watches together... ...but then I realised it would be a waist of time."

"What do you call a rapper who masterbates a lot? Lil Wayne-ker"

"I'm a lot like Jesus because I like wine and I tell people what to do."

"If apple made a car would it have windows?"

"Did you guys hear about the mob of comedians? It was a riot."

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. Kinda like crying, screaming, or dying."

"""Finish your peas. Kids in China are starving"" ""Finish your math. Kids in America are cheating off the Asian kids"""

"""DOC TELL ME STRAIGHT"" doc: u got lou gherrigs disease *cops barge in* ur under arrest ""FOR WHAT"" cop: mr gherrig reported a missing disease"

"What did the Muslim Terrorist say when he bombed Hawaii? Oahu Akbar!"

"My wife was captured by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her."