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Joke of the Day

"Remember when you used Twitter to update friends & family on where you were, & what you were doing? Yeah, me neither."

"When I listen to Nirvana I want to blow my head off with the nearest shotgun."

"What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel? That's a moray!"

"Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they're all Targets."

"Oh, I see you're an extrovert. Sorry, we can't be friends. I already have a friend who's an extrovert. One of you is enough."

"I needed to burn some calories... so I set a fat kid on fire"

"According to my google history, I spent most of last night trying to buy a llama."

"(6-year old brother gave me this one) Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too!"

"Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree? Because he couldn't bark"

"What do Scottish owls sing? Owld Lang Syne."