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Joke of the Day

"When I listen to Nirvana I want to blow my head off with the nearest shotgun."

"A toilet was stolen from my local police station. The cops said they had nothing to go on."

"Still trying to figure out how Cee-Lo wipes his ass."

"What do you call a cook with ebowla espatula ill be here all night guys"

"What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea? One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs."

"Why were they called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix"

"My mum was called Pearl and my dad was called Dean... Every time I would call them I would go, Hi mum and Pe PA pe PA pe pe PA...."

"Where does Kylie Minogue get her kebabs? Jason's Doner-Van"

"Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold? Because he is a bad influenza"

"How do you get a musician off of your porch? You pay for the pizza."