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Joke of the Day

"What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their parents? Roommates"

"My wife keeps complaining about her nine to five job... I must admit, 4:51 is a strange time to start work."

"Why do pens get sent to prison ? To do long sentences !"

"I finally got around to reading that book on watches I got last year It's about time."

"What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors? Ereptile dysfunction"

"My daughter told me this one today and it had me in stitches. Two goldfish are in a tank... One turns to the other and says: ""You man the guns, I'll drive"""

"I walked past a lady in her car with convertible down. She locked the door out of fear. So I smacked her in the back of the head & ran way"

"I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning"

"Why did the double arm amputee unsubscribe from r/jokes? He lost his sense of humerus."

"My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers."