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Joke of the Day

"Why do businessmen carry umbrellas? Because umbrellas can't walk."

"Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth!"

"I one the sandwich."

"What do doctors do with the foreskins from circumcisions? Sell them to gay guys as chewing gum."

"Don't fear the onegina Commitment fearing men, do not fear the onegina syndrome, merely have a baby with her. It will feel like two."

"How much credibility is there in that whole ""you can punch yourself handsome"" theory? Asking for a friend."

"[Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style."

"This is an emergency! *Begs to borrow strangers phone *starts scrolling through pics"

"Did you hear about the group of people who stole a dozen boxes of Viagra? Police are looking for hardened criminals."

"What do you call a fish that's on its way to somewhere? Salmon en route"