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Joke of the Day

"Don't fear the onegina Commitment fearing men, do not fear the onegina syndrome, merely have a baby with her. It will feel like two."

"The Department of Unfinished Statistics concluded... ... that 7 out of 10."

"What's the difference between pink and purple? Your grip."

"What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument? A tuba toothpaste."

"Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex? Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend."

"What is red and hangs around trees? A baby hit by a snow blower"

"Please make sure ""to"" put your air quotes around the right words"

"*gets on 1 knee* Jenny... ""OMG"" *places hand on heart and starts crying* ""This is great!"" *gets on 2nd knee* I'm having a heart attack"

"Twinkle twinkle line of coke, you're the reason why I'm broke. :("

"REPORTER: *asks question* POLITICIAN: that's a great question and thank you for asking it *answers a different question*"