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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth!"

"Flying around shitting on cars. Rock on, birds. Livin' the dream!"

"If Facebook Was Real me: cool shirt Brian Brian: thanks [hours later, a knock at my door] me: um yes? Brian's Mom: I also like that shirt"

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust"

"What do call an old man that asks questions? Pop Quiz"

"Why did the Senator get on Viagara? He wanted to achieve erection reform."

"Why are prostitutes cheaper compared to girlfriends and wives to many rich people? Because they dont have to pay attention"

"Yelling ""shotgun"" when getting in a car means a seat in the front. Yelling it before getting on a plane means a seat in the TSA office."

"[marriage counselling] Her: he always thinks he's talking to me on CB radio Me: I don't, over Her: It's over Me: It's what? Over"

"What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved"