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Joke of the Day
"This is an emergency! *Begs to borrow strangers phone *starts scrolling through pics"
Next Joke
"I just heard a woman in a supermarket say this to her 7 year old daughter... ""Don't spit! Ladies never spit!"" Fcuking. Priceless."
"Three types of people... There are three types of people in this world. Those who are odd, and those who literally can't even."
"I asked Kanye West if he'd seen Inception & he opened the locket around his neck revealing a photo of me asking him of he'd seen Inception."
"I like my women like I like my movies. Silent and in the 20s."
"I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I'm impecunious."
"I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it"
"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions."
"When the first jackhammer was invented... ...it was a groundbreaking innovation!"
"If you can't afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don't know where you are!"