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Joke of the Day

"How much credibility is there in that whole ""you can punch yourself handsome"" theory? Asking for a friend."

"What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes ? No idea :)"

"What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck."

"I hate finals week. Everyone gets testy."

"The answer to the question, ""do these jeans still fit"" depends on whether or not I actually have to sit down at any point."

"A mushrooms walks into a bar... ... The bartender yells ""Get the hell outta here!"" The mushroom says ""But why?! I'm a Fungi!"""

"What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest will blow you."

"Watches my wife cut the 2 yr. olds apple juice with water ... *Hauntingly second guesses every drink she's ever mixed for me now"

"Why'd the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."