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Joke of the Day

"At the ripe old age of 900, in a universe inhabited by thousands of alien races, I bet Yoda had some pretty racist shit to say."

"Difference between rain in India and USA is that in USA the water disappears in 5 minutes. In India the road disappears in 5 minutes"

"Did you hear about the dancing girl? She danced on one leg and then the other, but she made her living between the two of them."

"I'm afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating."

"Green eggs and 9/11 #SadDrSeuss"

"What's the best thing about twenty three year old's? [They're of age.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZg3-Y1QIc4)"

"[quietly opens a beer] Funeral Director: seriously?! Me: oh sorry [reaches into cooler and hands him one]"

"why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road because it was disabled"

"In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am..."

"So let me get this straight, a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its ""back"", and yet airlines charge for overweight baggage?"