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Joke of the Day

"Why would it suck to be an egg? Because you only get laid once, only get smashed once, and the only chick that sits on your face is your mother"

Next Joke
 
"A standard elevator can hold 1700 lbs or 5 Tinder matches..."
"A 25 year old just told me she's gonna rock my world. I'm 47 so I assume she's gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice"
"Apparently ""if you must draw your eyebrows on, please draw them evenly"" was not the tip this waitress was expecting."
"A married couple where each has a doctorate degree is a paradox."
"What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair."
"People say, ""why buy the cow, if you get the milk for free?"" But I don't see anyone buying a car with out a test drive."
"Van Halen on tour in 2012! I doubt the Mayans realized they'd be up against ""Drop Dead Legs"" when they predicted the end of the world."
"What do you call a cold cafe worker? A burrrista."
"Why can't the incredible hulk find a girlfriend? Because all the girls know he just wants to smash"
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