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Joke of the Day

"Even after 20 years, Jared Fogle is still getting into smaller and smaller jeans."

"Dear diary, My date got really excited when I said I wanted to cook for him. Apparently Meth wasn't what he expected. Dating is bull shit"

"Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy"

"Kids - there is no Santa. Those gifts were from your parents. Happy New Year from Wikileaks"

"Office morale has increased noticeably since we put a tarp over Dave's body"

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""why the long face?"""

"It's unlucky to glance over your shoulder while wearing a sweater made of rabbit wool... Don't look back in angora."

"Even if your a one in a million kind of guy There are a thousand people just like you in China"

"I had a joke about the Baltimore Riots But someones already stolen it :("

"[hitting on hot babe in bar] "".. You're 28? NO WAY! I used to be 28! This is spooky. You like oxygen? OMG you're not gonna believe this.."""